Just when I thought I had gone crazy from all the frustration with everything happening (or the lack thereof), I saw this today.




Since I got it on camera, clearly I am not crazy. I didn't know though that baboons roamed Old KR. Maybe they do live around here somewhere, and come out rarely, like the dogs at night (or at those wolf cubs). Anyway, I thought it was interesting, and first time I ever saw anything of the monkey family in Singapore (*Resist making obvious joke*)
By the way if the picture is not clear, there is one above the window and another on the window above. I saw him try to make his way in. Now i'm never going to leave my windows open when I leave the room

Speedy gonzalez

It is strange how words take a new meaning when imported into another language. The French always keep complaining about how the English take their words and say them with an accent in English sentences just to sound sophisticated, it is a matter of great curiosity to them. This does not have anything to do with Speedy Gonzalez of course, but a train of thought led me to him.
I saw a nike ad today claiming in a strong font "The new hombre is here." Hombre is simply spanish for man, however using it in an English sentence somehow makes it, for lack of a better word, 'cooler.' Language is a curious thing indeed.
Coming to Speedy now, I was wondering what he kept saying. Being a kid, I couldn't care less what it really meant. Wikipedia tells me that it was "¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!" which is Spanish for "Hurry up! Get up!" I could never understand the inverted exclamation mark too. Weird.
Anyway this got me thinking how cartoons are different when you view them now. One of my favorite ones growing up was Gumby, about a talking piece of plasticine (how naieve kids are, believing everything you tell them). Having nothing else to do, the other day I watched an episode of Gumby for 'old time's sake.' Ladies and Gentlemen, let me tell you something, you will never see anything worse that that. What an utter piece of crap! No plot, no excitement, nothing, it was painfully boring. This makes me wonder, what was it that made it so watchable in the first place. I honestly have no idea. I don't know what was going through in my head at that time.
On a similar note, what's up with the Ninja turtles. I mean, why teenage mutant ninja turtles. What's being teenage has got to do with anything they do? and turtles of all the creatures? turtles? and why did splinter turn into a rodent? why not a mutant human or something?

This all makes me wonder, is it very easy to amuse kids or did all those cartoon really have something?

P.S. By the way, check out the wikipedia entry on Speedy, apparently it was quite racist

Dear Ali,

you are an idiot. In the past you have done your share of moronic activities, but this, sir, surpasses all of them. What the hell were you thinking? A tale of such grand fuck-upitiness that you could tell your grandchildren about it (who'll want to marry an unemployed arse anyway).
Stand in the middle of a dark room and let a spotlight shine on you. Kids, when I say "go", you point at him and laugh your hearts out, he deserves it. It doesn't need to be said, but you, my friend, messed up big time, and don't try to rationalize this now, it was your own fault, nothing else. Accept it. No bullcrap like "well it's kinda good in a way." You know what, there is no such thing as a blessing in disguise, it's just a term sad people use to justify their own misfortune, and it's not misfortune when fate has nothing to do with it, and on that note I know that you don't believe in fate, so Ali, enjoy what you did, and remember it, because something tells me this is not the last time something like this happened.

Sincerely,
Ali

This post is long overdue, in response to a note that never was.
I have been told that this is not a problem anymore, but recently some people suffered the bane of ostracism at the hands of the majority for acts that were not condoned by the said majority. Let me put it another way, I have red hair, I hang out with people with red hair. A red-haired friend of mine dyes his hair blond. Result : I don't let him hang out with me any more, ergo, ostracism.

Now, really, seeing this does not make me happy, but seeing people justify this makes me plain angry. Seriously, are you going to live in your 'comfort zone' throughout your life? If I were to spend time only with people who shared all of my interests, I would be alone all the time (Unless there is someone else who likes Irish girls with a penchant for mascara and some other things that I should not divulge on such a public place). The point is, you cannot expect people to follow the ideology that you have, the tastes that you have and such, and as long as they don't carry out acts that make you uncomfortable in your presence, I don't see why you should have a problem with what they do.

Another assumption made here is that such acts are done without any thought and with amorality at heart. That is definitely not the case. Everyone you know, everything that one does, is based upon many, many factors, and if it is a big decision, extreme amount of thought has gone into it. No matter what the person may seem to you, any act that would set him apart from the group, move him away from their comfort zone, is not mindless. On that note, if you believe that he does this act based on peer pressure, by you harassing him (yes, harassment is the word) are you not forcing him to conform to your ways? Isn't that peer pressure? Any big decision that you make, that may actually change your outlook on life should never be based on peer pressure, it should be a person's own decision solely. Unless someone asks for advice don't give it. Let that person be, he needs to do what he wants to do, you forcing him to do otherwise would benefit no one.

Honestly, I have friends whose character and activities range across the spectrum, and if you feel that you would want to confine yourself to certain characteristics, that frankly, is something I cannot understand and you are poorer for doing that to yourself.

darn, been long, i shall try not to let this blog die

funny shit

Shooglenifty

Last Wednesday the World of Music and Dance (WOMAD), an ensemble of musicians from all over the world came to campus. I'll admit my main motivation for going was to see the British-Indian group Dhol Foundation, who were great by the way. However, it was another band that I liked so much that I am going to mention it here (and you can see by my posting frequency what things make it here). Shooglenifty is a band from the greatest city in the world, Edinburgh! Although they don't use bagpipes, their music is an excellent fusion of rock and folk with a distinct celtic sound. They were so good that they forced the NUS staff to burst into an impromptu ceilidh.
The band's website is http://www.myspace.com/shooglenifty where you can listen to some of their great works.
and here is a video of their performance at the Edinburgh Festival last year

Been in Singapore for more than a week now, and I seem to be looking at it through very different eyes.....damn, I miss Edinburgh. Honestly, Lahore and Singapore are not that different, but I feel a stark contrast between Singapore and Edinburgh...the people, the place, everything seems so different and strangely alien. I guess I'll have to get used to it again and try to get rid of my Edinburgh habits and expectations....

This is a conversation I had today with a rather nice elderly gentleman at PIA today:

"Singapore main kia kartay hain aap? parhtay hain?"
"haan jee"
"suna hai baree khoobsoorat jaga hai...zindagee main aik dafa singapore dekhna chahiyay"
"han jee kahtay hain log..."
"nahi kahtay to hain...gaana bhee to hai" (there's a song abt singapore? I didnt know that)
"Magar kahtay hain kay kafee mahnga hai"
"haan jee...Asia kay mukaabaly main to mahnga hee hai"
"Kitnay ka hai un ka ...kia hota hai? dollar hee na? (I nod)"
"40 rupay jee"
"yay to kaafee mahnga hai jee....to aik botal kitnay kee atee hai?"
"Jee?"
"Botal"
"Panee kee?"
"Nahi...yay...pepsi, seven up wagahira.....yay jo 'drinks' hotay hain"
"Pata nahi jee....2 dollar kee hotee ho gee pepsi kee botal"
"Acha! to aap ko nahi pata kitnay kee hai"
"Jee bas...."
"Aap nay kabhee piyay nahi 'drinks'?"
"erm......."

It's been more than a month since my last post, simply because I haven't been online much. I am finally home, though for the first time I wasn't looking forward to going back that much, such a good time I had had over the last six months. Anyway, London was good, Manchester was an eye-opener and wild (Madchester, as some people describe it, it quite apt). Home has been good so far, though the heat is unbearable. The day before I got home, the temperature was 52 degrees!! 52! in Lahore! Naturally it was the hottest day in years. Interestingly, a day before I left for Edinburgh, the temperature in Lahore was -2, the coldest day in years. So while I've been gone, the city has gone through 54 degrees....scheise!
I know this is long overdue but I must write something about the Edinburgh experience. Just thinking about it fills me with warmth, which is ironic considering how bloody cold it was. The cobble-stoned streets, the incredibly old buildings, and most of all the wonderful wonderful people, made my time in Edinburgh so great. To top that off, Edinburgh has an amazing pace of life, with every one of its inhabitants seemingly full of life and joy. I make it sound like a land out of fairytale, which it surely was not, but it was a great great place nonetheless.....nay, it IS a great place. On the flip side it was bloody expensive. I have been converting rupees to pounds since getting here. Needless to say, my wallet has taken a sever beating ( a rupee beating though, in pounds it still ain't much :P). One of my friends in Manchester asked me if I was looking forward to working in Singapore, or rather, am I willing to settle down in Singapore. Honestly, I do not. On the other hand, I'd choose to live in Edinburgh any day of my life, such is the great pace of life and the general ambience of the city. Excuse me for being over-dramatic here and jumping all respectable boundaries of cliche usage by summing up Edinburgh in one phrase : "Edinburgh, u bloody beauty" (wow, that is lame, more so than it sounded in my head)

Rammstein - Amerika

Sweet Escape

He sat by the edge of the cliff waiting for the sun to rise. A strong cold breeze hit him with mighty force and for a moment he thought it would toss him around like a child's plaything. “Never mind,” he thought, “just a few more hours of this.” Let the wind toss him around, in a matter of hours he would not be under the influence of such worldly things. The power was to come to him. The dream had told him to come at this place and wait for the sunrise. At sunrise he would fulfil his destiny. Fate was calling.

Like most people, he had a terrible childhood. Life in itself was a toil worthy of great effort that demanded the utmost of him. He was never the one “who drew pictures of mountain tops with him on top.” Yes, things were bad, but he realized that was how life was. Yet, the next day, when his friends and acquaintances were to find about his act, they would sit down in shock. None could be expected from such a charming fellow as he. However he put it, it was one disappointment after the other. He was one of the wise ones who had lost faith in humanity a long time ago.

He stood up and checked his watch. It was almost time. The wind had died down, almost as if the whole world was coming to a standstill to witness the momentous occasion. Every being, living or not, would stop in its path and admire the courage of he who took on the world. Slowly he reached into his bag and felt for his can of spray paint. This was not part of the dream, but the ever-ebullient aesthetic person that he was, he knew the value of presentation. He let a smile escape onto his face as he thought of what he was going to do, and what he was going to write. It was probably the first real smile he had experienced in years. With a spring he got to his feet and pulled open the lid of the can. With great care, like a master sculptor giving the final touches to an elegant marble statue, he went about spray painting the rocky surface. The smile was almost beginning to turn to a laugh now. He was expressing himself, his true feelings, he always felt happiest when he did that. Being the presence of humans however, he had to keep them to himself.

He had always found it hard to deal with the human race. They were a wondrous creation he thought, not stopping for a moment to think that he also was one of the species that he despised the most. Their betraying, hate-spreading ways had made him disillusioned of the world. After all, the humans were the kings of the world, however much he disliked it. Early on, he had made the great mistake of imagining that everyone inherently had a good nature, and they turn evil only under the most exceptional of circumstances. Thus, he was prone to forgive small deterrences from the expected behaviour, meanwhile building a great dislike for himself for not being able to live well with that race. He always tried to see others in a good light, while forgetting to see himself in one; he spent all his time cleaning the windows to look outside, while not stopping to clean the mirror. If one were to think that his fellow humans stayed away from him, then one would be severely mistaken. He had always been loved by all, though he did not believe in such an artifical emotion given the inherently evil nature of human beings. Everyone loved him for his sense of humour, his charm, his affable presence, he was the one to spend time with. Still he felt aloof of all this. It was as if he was in Venice, surrounded by everyone singing love songs and the dream gondolas rowing the most dreamy of places that Venice is. However, being in Venice, everyone wore the Venetian mask, beguiling their true nature under that most basic of disguises. He knew that what they were showing was not their true self. And it was not as he was wearing a mask too, he was the fool at the ball. Everyone danced in their elaborate dresses and their masks firmly placed against their faces, while he stood in the middle, the fool, trying to entertain the dancers.

It was time, the sun had risen. The message was on the rock. Freedom, Redemption, it was coming his way. Slowly he made his way to the edge of the cliff and stood to smell the blossoming flowers through his human nose for one last time. He imagined a thousand faces around him, everyone in their Venetian masks, everyone pointing at him, laughing. They were all trying hard to stop laughing, but they could not. It was the fool, they had to laugh! He shrugged their indifference; he had not been loved, no one came to him, no one listened to him, even the sandman refused to come to him. It was all in the past now. With one great breath, he imagined the wind suddenly picking up pace as anticipating his act, he jumped from the cliff.... A warmth went through his previously frigid body and he felt the orgasmic experience of falling down into the wind. He was flying, he would not be human anymore, he would fly. It was fucking brilliant. Fucking fucking fucking fucking brilliant, he smiled.

As the sun slowly made its way to the heaven, lumbering up into the sky, it shone with subdued brilliance on his last message to the world, the one that would make its way into a small picture in a small newspaper column in a lowly-circulated newspaper : “God is me”

So how?

As a foreigner in Singapore I have experienced a bewildering array of Singlish terms, but one of them stands out in its sheer brilliance and brevity. This phrase can be used to express an astonishing wide array of meanings, used at any appropriate time, and the gives the user complete semantic power to make several of inquisitions in the language obsolete. "So how?" is a brilliant attempt at getting rid of all other forms of inquiry in the English language. It could mean "What is up?", it could mean "what to do now?", heck, it could even mean "what bus do we take to go the place we were talking about?" Last summer, I was in the process of selling my phone, and a Singaporean friend wanted to ask me about my progress on the matter. He of course did not resort to a question as banal as "How's your phone selling coming along?" Instead, he uttered four words of such brilliance that I was taken aback by the magnificence of the structure. Four words, innocuous alone, the juxtaposition of which created a force so powerful that linguists all over the world would bow down in subservience. Those four words were of course : "So your phone how?"
Absolutely brilliant is all I can say, such a great charm the Singaporeans have for taking brevity of sentences to heights never imagined by others in many lifetimes. If I were to come up with a way to make my sentences shorter I would attempt in vain to abbreviate everything resulting in an incomprehensible concoction of letters that would take much more time in explaining to the audience than it would to say the appropriate sentence. My friend on the other hand exhibited a rare talent that is bar none, and for that, I salute him.

resonating with me for the past few days:

The funniest video on youtube!!

I sat down at one of those fancy cubicles at the library yesterday but couldn't help my mind drifting to the scribblings all over the table. It made me wonder though if I had seen anything like that in NUS, but it's really hard to imagine such scale in NUS.
The picture to the left is just an overview of that, though there was a lot of it, and I spent most of my time just reading that. Some really good jokes, though they can't be repeated on this blog since the blog is PG-13. Ask me in person and I'll tell you :P











Soon, it caught up to me and I ended up with my own contribution (and three of them for that matter). This is a picture of the most elegant of expressions : "scheisse"












There's something I never thought I would saw scribbled on a table in the uni. "Rock climbing is awesome"

"Anna-Lucia," she introduced herself.
"And I'm Claire, and that sleeping over there is Rachel," the other American girl chirped. "We are watching Ugly Betty in case you are interested. Do you watch?"
"Ha! I am afraid I am not aware of such nuances of your culture"

...After an hour, Rachel wakes up....

"Hi guys"
"Hi Rachel"
"Who is our friend over there?"
"He? He's..." she tries to search in vain for my name, and gives it her best shot, "...Alec."
"Hi Alec."
"Hi, and it's Ali."
"Where's he from?"
"Pakistan"
"What language does he speak?"
"English! and erm...Pakistani"
"You know I am sitting right over here! you can ask me"
"hmf...hi"

"Well, I'm gonna meet friends in Rome, but I study here, so you see..."
The rather pleasant conversation was rudely interrupted by the customary immigration officer. In international trains in Europe, rather than going through immigrations at the station, the officers board the train at the border.
"Can I see your passport?"
"Sure," Stacy said as she handed her passport to the officer.
"You are American," the officer said while at the same time smiling. This was followed by the look. The look is what would normally result in a pepper spray attack by the receiver of the look in most countries, or in Pakistan, a clubbing with hockey sticks by the receiver's brothers at night. In Italy however, the look is how the male members greet members of the opposite sex. Satisfied, the officer moved on to my passport which I duly handed over.
"Pakistano!" The customary exclamation that any Pakistani who travels abroad would be very used to had escaped his lips. Very carefully, he studied my passport. "I can not read this, do you have another card?"
"Another card?"
"I think he wants some other form of identification,"Stacy tried to help.
"I see, I have my student card if it helps." Meanwhile, another officer had joined the previous one thinking about how to deal with the calamitous occasion of a Pakistani crossing the border. They both studied my card and passport carefully for about ten minutes. I could heard the occasional "Edimburgo" in their conversation. After that they disappeared with my documents.

I was waken up again after an hour by a much more respectable immigrations officer, and by the looks of him, much more important one too. "You from Pakistan?" I could just nod. After studying it for another five minutes, he finally handed over the documents to me. The joys of being a Pakistani.

On the train from Berlin to Brussels, I met a German guy who had travelled alone in China for a year. Noticing my backpack, he inquired of me the same thing, that is, if I were travelling alone. A warm smile spread on his face on learning my answer. "It is fun," he said, "you find out who you are." After a month of seeing a whole new world and experiencing things that I never though I would experience, and doing things that I never thought I would, it is hard for me to just settle down finally. Even while writing this, I feel this unease and restlessness gripping me, this feeling increasing every moment I stay still. Doubtless this will go away, but I feel changed, I can tell that. More on that later. This sitting still is not making me happy. I gotta go walk around or something. I almost feel like a Bedouin now. I wonder how long it would be before I look at this part of my life through different eyes and turn the page to another chapter. I can only wait.

Random photoshopping

Contrary to what I had imagined, having my own camera did not send me on a photoshopping spree. I am rather limited by my knowledge and the wails and cries of Sir Dalton while running photohshop (Dalton is the name of my esteemed PC in case you didn't know, full name: Sir William Horace Dalton III). Nevertheless, below are some simple and random photoshopped shots.The view behind King's buildings

Skye

Loch Laggan

A loch in the Isle of Skye

*After publishing the post, the pictures don't seem
half as good as they do offline, but...meh