Dear Ali,

you are an idiot. In the past you have done your share of moronic activities, but this, sir, surpasses all of them. What the hell were you thinking? A tale of such grand fuck-upitiness that you could tell your grandchildren about it (who'll want to marry an unemployed arse anyway).
Stand in the middle of a dark room and let a spotlight shine on you. Kids, when I say "go", you point at him and laugh your hearts out, he deserves it. It doesn't need to be said, but you, my friend, messed up big time, and don't try to rationalize this now, it was your own fault, nothing else. Accept it. No bullcrap like "well it's kinda good in a way." You know what, there is no such thing as a blessing in disguise, it's just a term sad people use to justify their own misfortune, and it's not misfortune when fate has nothing to do with it, and on that note I know that you don't believe in fate, so Ali, enjoy what you did, and remember it, because something tells me this is not the last time something like this happened.

Sincerely,
Ali